Thursday, April 26, 2012

16 Year old me rambles on. 08/04/2006

My creativity runs to an extent. I don't run around and act like a moron, because, I don't think I'm physically or mentally capable of it. I've been raised to act and be inteligent. I've been raised to be me.
I don't need every little materialistic item I see, like half the other people I know, I try to keep my priorities straight - although I don't always succseed, and I don't have to be a cat behind a persons back - I am to their face. When I have a problem, I let you know. I just don't act like nothings wrong and then tell everyone else behind your back... That would just be pointless.
I like the shade black, I like the colours lime green, hot pink, orange. I like it when it rains, no, when it pours.I adore kisses and being kissed in the pouring rain. I like snow, it looks beautiful and pure. I love it when the wind blows my hair and I love the sound of my horse when he whinnies when he sees me and I love watching him run towards me. I love being alive and sometimes I hate it. But who doesn't?
I have my own horse, Tucker, he lives in a large corral in my back yard; my own dog, Spook, she lives in the house and outside; and two cats, Cheech and Chong, they are inside cats - the only thing their useful for is keeping the mice away.
I live on a ranch with cows, we have chickens, and more horses than just mine, and a rooster. I hate that rooster.
I love my friends, Even though their a 20 mintue drive away, but they do whatever they can to come pick me up or make sure I can get home. They're the bestest. And sometimes I can't stand them... But thats just because I'm me.
I find its easier to give advice than to follow it, and that its easier to be liked for who youre not. So I'm hated for who I am and Liked for who I'm not. I'd rather someone see the real me, then a fake person, a shell of who I am.
I don't like to show the real deep and personal raw me. The best way to figure me and my life out, is through my poetry and my writings. If anything, all the strength and courage that I show to my friends, I've learned alot in the last 16 years of my grade 11 life. Inside, I swallow that scared little girl, inside I tell myself that I have to survive for me, its not about spiteing those that don't want you around, its not about proving that you're better than that, its about telling yourself that you are good enough. Its about living for what makes you happy, and being happy because youre living. All the huge depressing things in life, they don't matter, its all those small things that make you happy, the tiniest thing that you're supposed to grasp onto and love to bits, like the wind through your hair, or the sun on your face... Its those things that make life worth living for. Its not who is beside you or what so-and-so said, its about the magical things in life. Its about living today as if its the last day. Its about that feeling when you lay down at night and say "I'll look back on this and smile because its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". Its about the day that you lay your head on your death-bed and reveiw your life and go "I lived it to the fullest and I had the best time of my life." Its about being happy wit the music in your head and always remembering that all we have is today. Its about being yourself in the big pictures, and doing what makes you happy in the small picture. Its about taking the good with the bad and the bad with the good. In the end all that matters is that you lived your life the way you wanted it, because anything you want to do, you can do.
But thats just the way I see it.

No comments:

Post a Comment